Imagine aliens abduct you, give you better skin, then drop you off back at home
Wait, don’t crabs shed their shells? Wouldn’t a fake shell be more of a hindrance when they molt?
Nope, as long as it has all the same joints and seams itll make bo difference. Arthropods molt just like unzipping your clothes, the shell opens in a designated spot and the animal slips out in one piece
Mozilla has the opportunity to do the funniest thing right now
the onion has the opportunity to do the funniest thing right now
I want to reblog the joke but omg, read that article!
The DOJ wants the judge to:
* (the headline) Sell Chrome and completely separate from the search engine, donāt come back for 5 years
* stop buying potential rival search engines- including ads-related AI products
* sell off any it already invests in
* stop making anticompetitive agreements with OS makers (Apple) to make google the default search engine
* GIVE DATA CRAWLING RIGHTS DIRECTLY TO CONTENT CREATORS (meaning you would have to opt-in to let its AI learn from your content)
Google has to make counter proposals but the DOJ has two recommendations for Android that amount to the legal equivalent of āweāre just getting started and we dare you to fuck around and find out.ā
So to be clear, the Onion, moz://a, BlackBerry, AND John Oliver could team up for the funniest thing right now.
It never fails to amuse me when I get āhello influencerā emails wanting me to push questionable products to my followers.
Like worstie, I can barely promote my own published book without wanting to curl up and die.
The fuck makes you think Iāll shill your discount wish shit?
Also, it’s Tumblr. If I try to tell anyone about your knock-off Wish-quality sex toy thereās going to be a horde of Autistic lesbians doing a power point presentation in the notes about safe sex toy material and correct battery storage.
Which I am 100% down for, but it will not get you any sales.
I was trying to figure out if you were someone important on a other platform, because there’s no way in hell anyone actually thinks you can be classified as “Influencer” if you have a big Tumblr blog.
And then also think advertising to this mob would be a good idea
There are actually lots of people who sell stuff successfully on here, usually drop ship stuff.
Theyāre just not disclosing it as ads, which they are supposed to do, and instead it’s marketed in a very Tumblr-esque way which can be summed up as āomg guys look how CUTE this isā followed by a different account underneath going āomg found it!!ā and it links to a drop ship site with the item(s).
And the link usually has an affiliate tracker in it, which you may or may not be able to spot unless youāre familiar with them, which is also something you are legally supposed to disclose.
I used to get a lot of offers from around 2016-2020 to sell āmoon lampsā on here, yāknow those orb lights that look like a moon? Yeah. I was offered a higher kickback to make it look like I wasnt posting an add because these sellers know Tumblrites donāt like ads.
They wanted it to look as organic and hyped up as possible and then Iād just so happen to be like āomg you guys it’s on saleā and post a link. Which is skeevy as shit and also illegal af in the US.
Itās like the insta/tiktok girlies saying ālink in bioā to get around saying āhereās a product I make money on if you buy itā because they want to sound like your friend because people are more likely to impulse buy stuff if a āfriendā is recommending something.
Theyāre also trusting that everyone knows ālink in bioā means āaffiliate linkā which is technically not enough of a disclosure but whatever.
This is why I tag all my own book promos with āaffiliate linksā because depending on which storefront you buy Hunger Pangs from, I may get a kickback from the vender which I do to help mediate the fees I lose from distribution. Itās not muchāliteral pennies in some casesābut Iām still legally required to state it.
Itās also why when I do post products I use or like, I make a point of letting people know Iām not an affiliate and not sponsored because despite the legal ramifications these people are flirting with by not disclosing their affiliate status, I want to be fully transparent with my followers when it comes to me trying to sell them things.
Yāall keep my lights on by reading my work and through my ko-fi and patreon. I am not about to risk that trust for the sake of some shitty vibrator sales from a sketch-ass drop shipper who wants me to pretend Iām not selling you things.
So, yeah. People do successfully sell stuff on here. A lot of us small indie creators sell our own work all the time.
But there are also drop-ship sellers on here who get enough of a kick-back from affiliate links to make selling cutesy kitsch stuff worth their time on here. Theyāre just making sure you donāt know youāre being marketed to.
those product posts thinly disguised as “omfg look at this cool thing!/I found it online!” seem to come in waves and once you’ve noticed the pattern they’re just annoying – unless they’re marine biology/dinosaur plushies of course in which case it’s just an opportunity to gawp
The most recent one I can think of is that jellyfish light. That’s 100% an ad, just hidden in tumblr-speak.
I find I can generally tell when it’s an ad posted by a corp/dropshipper vs someone extremely passionate selling something they made and love, but there’s a lot of the former floating around
God, thank you for saying something. I seriously considered making this same post back in July when I started noticing more and moreposts of this kind with thousands of notes. Some of them were getting pushed onto my dashboard from a few of the most popular tags I track (like “artists on tumblr”) but a few were getting shared by actual people who I follow (omg these ethereal dragon hair clips are perfect for cosplays… š)
(Screenshots I took at the time – this particular blog has been thoroughly scrubbed from existence in the meantime.)
There is an extensive interconnected network of blogs with URLs like haha-lol-cute-funny, daily-meme-inspiration, omg-wow-tiktoks, etc. that bulk post vast quantities of stolen memes with broad appeal, spam them in a million popular tags, and then reblog them back and forth from each other. Once any given meme takes off, the OP is edited and the meme replaced with one of these stealth ads. Then, because of the inflated note count, the ad version of the post will get pushed to the dashboards of anyone tracking those tags.
If you go into the notes of any of these, half the reblogs will still be of the original meme. Here’s an example: Original meme / the ad it turned into.
(The OP of this one has already been taken down – screenshots because the images in this post are also liable to get scrubbed.)
The note count has the added benefit of making it look like thousands of real people are excited about the item in the post, and, for better or worse, people are strongly motivated by things they think others in their community are doing.
I see all the linked posts have already been deleted lmao.
In Swansea, when you get on a bus, the driver will literally sit at that bus stop and block the traffic if need be to watch you, hawk-like, on the bus cameras as you make your way to a seat. This is normal service. We must all be seated before the bus takes off. Very occasionally they might start driving while you’re still standing in front of your seat, having reached it but not quite sat down, and the sudden inertia makes you instantly hinge 90 degrees at the hips and collapse into the chair like a doll in Toy Story when a human enters. We all have a good laugh. “Quick off the mark, isn’t he?” an old lady will say. “Not even sitting, you weren’t!” she will cackle. This is high entertainment. Her week is made. Your forced seating is a rare treat, a moment of human connection. You still thank the driver as you get off the bus.
In Edinburgh, the bus drivers have never heard of the very concept of waiting until the passengers are seated. Half a picosecond after your card is tapped the bus driver punches a nitro injection button and stamps on the accelerator. You are instantly hurled to the back of the bus, where you are thinly laminated to the back window. Time unspools into the traffic behind you. A local tuts at you, because you should have known to hold the handrail. After several seconds you manage to unpeel yourself, only for the driver to slam on the brakes for the next stop, flinging you at speed through the windscreen and onto the road in front of the bus. Ashamed, you get up and re-board. It costs nothing extra, because Scottish public transport is cheap and convenient. The driver actually pauses, because a woman with a cane has boarded. You seize your chance. You try to run up the stairs to a seat before she sits and the bus moves again. You are out of luck – at the top step the driver spins out into oncoming traffic at 87 miles an hour from a standstill, and you tumble like a house of cards impacted by a bowling ball, thrown down from the Olympus of the upper deck that you, in your hubris, thought you could reach. You rattle around in the aisle like a discarded can. The woman with the cane laughs at you. Some children kick you towards the back. You lodge under a seat, and cling on until your stop like a terrestrial limpet.
You still thank the driver as you get off the bus.
I am of course in Edinburgh again at the minute and lads you’ll never guess the experience I had today
amhrancas 