“Sorry I have a boyfriend” is of course a time-tested and reasonably reliable no-fault rejection strategy. But what many tacticians may not realize is it has an even more powerful counterpart, the preemptive boyfriend name-drop. This is when a conversation with a stranger veers into high-alert territory and you make up a guy named Raphael (my boyfriend) who you mention due to his extremely-relevant interest in the current topic of conversation.
Raphael is a powerful tactical piece here due to his simultaneous love or hatred of every single topic ever, due to he’s not real.
captain afab is honestly a very relatable character because whomst among us does not have some great beast that has eluded us all our lives. mine, for instance, is a decent night’s sleep.
Ahab. I meant fucking. captain Ahab.
y’all are gonna make this a whole thing aren’t you
top 5 things people have said in the tags on this so far:
I love blocking people I’ve never interacted with based off their replies on some random popular post. Wow random user on a post with 50k notes with the worst take ever, I hope I never meet you and will make sure we never do
Seeing “toxic yuri fan” in their blog header and skimming their last few dozen posts to see whether that’s toxic yuri as in “I have ambivalent feelings about the central relationship in She-Ra and the Princesses of Power, a PG-rated cartoon for children” or toxic yuri as in “I want them to kill and eat each other”.
Your preferred level of toxic yuri:
Why can’t we all just get along?
I have ambivalent feelings about children’s cartoons
Passive aggression
Yelling and recrimination
Moderate property damage
It’s not a hate crime if it’s personal
I want them to kill and eat each other (figurative)
Is toxic yuri about violence? I thought it was about making each other worse as people
Making each other worse as people is absolutely the foundation of toxic yuri, but it’s just that: a foundation. They also need to make each other suffer because of it; if it’s only other people who suffer, that’s not toxic yuri – it’s merely aspirational!
Exactly. If they aren’t making their own lives so so much worse then it’s not toxic Yuri, if you look at them and say “Well, they’re making the world worse and everyone and everything around them is in danger, but at least they love each other unconditionally and have each other’s backs” that’s not really toxic Yuri it’s just a healthy relationship with a blast radius. The toxicity needs to be directed at each other for it to be Toxic Yuri, they need to have the desire and full capability to stab each other in the back both figuratively and literally if given the chance
Reblogging these remarks purely for the phrase “healthy relationship with a blast radius”.
Still feels weird that the same band made “You’re Gonna Go Far, Kid” and “Pretty Fly (For A White Guy)”
It’s like if Smash Mouth and Fall Out Boy were one band.
The Offspring are honestly a contender for the funniest punk band ever, made even funnier by the fact that Dexter Holland is pushing 60 now and has a PhD in virology.
Like imagine being on an academic committee and reviewing a dissertation on HIV protein-encoding genomes and it’s from a guy with frosted tips whose greatest legacy is the Crazy Taxi soundtrack.
That’s the Offspring.
The hook from “Come Out And Play” was created because Dexter Holland was doing lab work and did, in fact, have to keep certain petri dishes separated while disinfecting them. So he kept saying “gotta keep ‘em separated” to himself while working, and it stuck in his head so badly that it made it into the song.
one of my worst writing sins is abusing my power to create compound words. i cannot write the sentence “The sun shone as bright as honey that afternoon.” no. that’s boring. “The sun was honey-bright that afternoon” however? yes. that sentence is dope as fuck. i do not care if “honey-bright” is a word in the english dictionary. i do not care if the sentence is grammatically correct. i will not change. i will not correct my erred ways. the laws of the english language are mine.
amhrancas 
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