Elon Musk’s teenage hackers have inserted bots into the backend of the federal system so they can spy on government workers and sniff out any disloyalty to Felon47.
This is not only highly illegal but qualifies as an act of espionage and sedition.
Remember when First Felon accused Obama of spying on him through a microwave oven? Always a projection.
I’m signing part of what I’m saying tonight because while we were making the movie, we all became more aware of the problems of the handicapped. Over 14 million people are deaf. They are the invisible handicapped, and can’t share this evening, so this is my way of acknowledging them.
A little more history…
Closed captioning was developed in 1979 (the National Captioning Institute was founded on January 30, 1979), and in 1982, they wanted a big event to debut live closed captioning. For the event they chose the 1982 Academy Awards—likely because of this acceptance speech. The company that did closed captioning was housed in Washington, D.C., so they sent someone to LA to oversee the live closed captioning. That employee was Marc Okrand. While working at the Oscars Okrand met someone who was working at Paramount on the new Star Trek movie. They needed help with the Vulcan, and Marc said he could help, as he had a Ph.D. in linguistics. They remembered him when they started working on the next Star Trek.
In other words, this acceptance speech is at least partially responsible for the creation of the Klingon language.
it’s really such an experience to go from “oh this is really cool wow” to “aw man i like this so much i need to eat glass about it” i cant even pinpoint when it happened
saying ao3 needs to censor certain content is like saying a museum can’t have still life art that includes strawberries because you don’t like them.
these are not real strawberries. you do not have to, and in fact cannot, eat them. no one with a strawberry allergy will be harmed by looking at them. no migrant workers were exploited in the picking of these strawberries. there were no questionable farming practices or negative environmental impacts from growing or transporting them.
because – and i cannot stress this enough – they are not real strawberries.
if you don’t like strawberries, you don’t have to look at the paintings. in fact, you can get a map of the museum that lists what works are in what rooms and just. not go in there. if you see one by mistake, you can look away. just keep walking. there’s plenty of other stuff to see.
yes, real strawberries can cause real quantifiable harm to real people.
but again. these are not real strawberries.
you may have whatever feelings you like about strawberries, and so can i. you can draw and write about whatever fruit floats your boat, and so can i, even if that happens to be strawberries. and we can hang our art side by side in the same gallery, provided you understand that my strawberries are not about you (and your kumquats are, shocker, not about me) and that – and this is true – neither are real.
and when the fascists break down the doors and grab all the strawberry paintings and heap them in the street and set them on fire, please know that they are coming for your kumquats next.
so if you want a place where you can show off your beautiful kumquat art safely, you’re gonna have to tolerate having some strawberries in the next room.
and that’s okay. because the strawberries aren’t real.
honey is the only food product that never spoils. there are pots of honey that are over five thousand years old and still completely edible
i also want to point out we know it tastes the same even after thousands of years b/c archaeologists who discovered two thousand year old honey tasted it. presumably right after they looked at each other and went “what the hell here goes nothing”
I’m pretty sure they also identify human remains by taste. Archaeologists are straight up freaks.
No, no no… you identify bone from rock or other substances by touching it to your tongue. If it sticks, it’s bone. The taste itself has nothing to do with it. And most archaeologists won’t lick human bones if they know they’re human.
…and I realize that doesn’t actually do much to prove archaeologists aren’t freaks.
mai nam is jane and wen i dig i fynde some roks both smol and big i put my tung upon the stone for science yes i lik the bone
I’m sitting with a bunch of archaeologists and we just laughed so hard we CRIED we’re getting tshirts with this on them
I will never ever get tired of seeing bredlik poems. It is really one of the seminal art forms of the century. I am not being sarcastic.
If I ever don’t reblog this, assume I’m dead and archaeologists are licking my bones.
amhrancas 
