GBBO: “A s’more is basically just an Italian merengue sandwiched between two ganache-covered digestives”
Americans:
in case anyone in wondering, this is Paul Hollywood’s idea of a s’more
You know what, their absolute inability to grasp Mexican foods makes more sense every day
Nodding my head in support of the Americans despite having no clue what a s’more is.
Okay, American immigrant to the UK here to explain all the mistakes from Paul Hollywood happening here: there is one fundamentally American ingredient required to make a s’more correctly but which is basically not available anywhere at all in the UK, and that is graham crackers. A plain digestive biscuit close-ish, but still a very different beast.
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From Wikipedia: A graham cracker is a sweet flavored cracker made with graham flour.
The next ingredient (which is also extremely traditionally American but slightly more variable) is typically Hershey’s chocolate, but you could probably swap this out in the UK with any plain chocolate bar.
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Last ingredient is big marshmallows, the kind you do the chubby bunny challenge with, like the size of your thumb and twice as thick.
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A proper s’more, the most traditional possible variety, involves to graham cracker squares, two slab segments of Hershey’s chocolate, and one to two marshmallows depending on your preference for filling and gooeyness. You put a slab of chocolate on one of the graham cracker squares. Your marshmallows should be toasted, usually over a campfire but if you’re doing them at home over a gas stove burner is fine, but the fire part is critical. You can toast them to whatever degree you like, some people like them nice and golden brown but still kind of firm in the middle, me personally? I want that bitch to CATCH ON FIRE, I want it gooey and sticky as hell in the middle, crispy and burnt on the outside. Slap that motherfucker on your graham cracker and chocolate square, top with the other one so your marshmallow and chocolate are sandwiched together by graham cracker on the outside. You do this with your freshly toasted marshmallow because ideally it will be hot enough to start to melt the chocolate so it sticks to the marshmallow and the graham cracker and, combined with the gooey marshmallow, it keeps the whole thing together, and for that reason some people will let them sit for a hot second to let the melting process happen (especially if like me you have chocolate on BOTH graham cracker squares, not just one, because you’re a sugar fiend), but if you are a young child you do not have that degree of patience and you eat that shit immediately, unmelted chocolate and all. Consume your summer camp delight like a tiny club sandwich, get gooey sticky marshmallow and chocolate all over your hands, and enjoy.
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Important note: this is a kids treat. It is a traditional summer camping trip dessert. It should be something any ten year old with adult supervision and access to the ingredients can make (and make a mess of). They’re called s’mores because kids always “want s’more”. If you are using a blowtorch, chocolate biscuits, and merengue, you are so far beyond the bounds of s’more-hood that you have thoroughly lost the plot. If you offered Paul Hollywood’s concoction to an American child and called it a s’more, they’d tell you flat out that not only is it not a s’more, it looks dumb and you didn’t do it right because it’s not gooey.
Graham crackers are a distinctly American thing. They were created by a minister during the temperance movement who believed that the way to get people to stop masturbating was to feed them a diet of only dry, sugarless crackers made from a coarsely ground wheat.
Fortunately one of the few things Americans love more than protestantism is adding sugar to things. So we added sugar and used them to make s’mores, the most sugar-heavy treat imaginable, and we never did stop cranking it.
I for one enjoy finding new ways to adulterate Rev. Graham’s crackers specifically to spite him.
Not apocalyptic levels of OhFuck unless you’ve sat through a Cat5, but shit’s been like this for a long time now. We just put up with it for far too fucking long:
Me: I need to go home. There’s a hurricane coming and my basement apartment is on the coast, so I’m worried about my cats. (To myself: And maybe needing to evacuate.)
Boss: Is your house and your cats more important than this job?
Me: YES.
Boss: …oh. Okay. Uh…see you tomorrow…
Different boss, several years later, a conversation that happened multiple times:
Me: Hey, it’s starting to really snow outside, I live on a steep hill, and I only have 2-wheel drive. If I don’t leave now, I can’t get home.
Boss: Is getting home more important than getting your job done tonight?
Me: Considering I value my life more than I value this paperwork being digitized? YES.
Boss: ….
Me: Bye. See you tomorrow.
Boss: Uh, yeah, okay.
Different atttempt:
Boss: Why don’t you just get a hotel after work?
Me: Do I get a raise so I can afford it?
Boss: No.
Me: Bye. See you tomorrow.
Boss: Is getting home
more important than getting
your job done tonight?
Beep boop! I look for accidental haiku posts. Sometimes I mess up.
Haikubot aside we should normalize saying those things to bosses absolutely. It’s only going to get worse.
What’s crazy is how the bosses are so conditioned to guilt trip and then when they don’t get the response they expect, they don’t even follow through on the demand, like “oh, uh, I guess that’s okay then.” They’ve been trained, but when you break the training, it turns out they’re kind of real people.
Leftist bloggers are using Native genocide as a fucking metaphor for other issues as if we aren’t still here and primary targets of this administration that wants nothing more than to erase our identities and our tribes and hand our land over to mining and oil companies. Fuck all the way off honestly. Don’t bring up our people’s suffering if you’re just gonna pretend like we’re not even here anymore.
The Holocaust 🤝 The Trail of Tears
events that leftists bring up as metaphors for literally everything while refusing to acknowledge the communities actually effected by those events and who are still suffering not just from the past but also from ongoing violence and genocide while being continually left out of every single conversation
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amhrancas 