Sometimes you have to take a step back and remember that same-sex marriage has only been legal in America for ten years.
I know that it seems like it’s been this way forever, but when they were leaving it up to the states and Indiana legalized it for a whole 24 hours before Mike Pence got wise to it- me and a bunch of strangers ran around the city hall block with a rainbow flag because we were so happy. People were getting married on the spot because they’d been waiting so long and we didn’t know if the ruling was going to stick.
It’s wild to think about how much has changed just in my lifetime. Sodomy was a crime until 2003. Don’t Ask Don’t Tell was both enacted and repealed in my life.
The processes are slower than we want, but in retrospect- a lot has changed since the 90s.
My wife and I were the first same sex couple to get married in my county. I grew up just wanting to be left the fuck alone–the idea of getting married wasn’t even on my radar.
I worked for campaigns and got angry and it felt like things were fucking hopeless all the time. But I learned that…everything breaks. Everything passes. Nothing Lasts. This sounds like a sad thing, and it’s that, too, but it’s also: Everything breaks. Even the night. Everything passes. Even the storm. Nothing lasts. Even the nightmare.
I deeply suspect things are going to be very difficult for a few years. And that we will spend about a decade or so, maybe more, playing cleanup crew. But that’s okay. As long as we don’t give up, you can strain the dam until it bursts, and then the river will go places it never dreamed of. Commit to the hard work of a few years. Commit to the suck. People are doing things. I promise. You can do them too.
When I was 18, I wanted to be left in peace. When I was 28, I was married. It was worth the fight. Even when it felt hopeless. Even when I failed again and again.
amhrancas 