I like to think that the CIA has attempted to assassinate Elon Musk multiple times but every time they sabotage one of his shitty terrible cars it actually resolves a preexisting flaw in its design that actually makes it work properly instead of exploding and every time it happens the beleaguered government agent hiding in the bushes throws down his binoculars in disgust
Someone tries to poison the president every single day but his arteries are so fucked up from 35 years of eating nothing but McDonald’s hamburger patties and butterscotch cocaine milkshakes that the poison is fully metabolized and broken down before it can reach his vital organs
amhrancas 