90s movies: Psychopharmacology is as good as a lobotomy. If you take pills to treat your mental illness it will literally murder your imaginary friends and you will become a boring, lotus-eating conformist drone.
Me after taking my meds: drives the scenic route home to see if there are any geese on the pond and does a little dance in line at the grocery store and comes home to throw everything in my fridge into a stew pot because I can finally taste food again while singing songs at my birds in which I replace all the instances of “she” with “Cheese” and doing a Dolly Parton impression on the phone to my sister
“What were you like before taking the meds tho”
Two weeks ago I was posting about eating cake frosting for dinner.
I feel like it’s worth mentioning that being on The Wrong Meds can indeed do the 90s movie thing to you.
Like, if you go on meds and that happens, it’s not because whatever’s going on with you is jut Too Severe or that you’re doomed or only people with Other Illnesses get to have meds that make them feel actually good and you have to settle for “miserable but somehow so hollow I no longer care about the misery” and be grateful you’re no longer actively suicidal or whatever.
If that shit happens to you, tell your fucking doctor. And if your doctor doesn’t take you seriously, or acts like That’s Just How Being On Meds Is, ditch them! Find a new doctor!! Because that is NOT how being on meds is supposed to work! That means the meds are not working correctly!!
Reblogging to agree and say that what was happening to me was (and to an extent still is) severe and was the result of manifold health problems and has taken the better part of a year to effectively treat. I did not expect medication to be this effective. But it is. So if you think that you are untreatable, get a second opinion.
there is a single pill i can take to immediately live a day as the best version of myself– not a superhero, not a perfect genius, but a good dude who can read and write and do the dishes. im optimistic and coherent and can plan for the future. i write novels and walk the dog and remember to shower and brush my teeth.
if i don’t take this pill i spend the day as a dirty, inept husk, a sad sack of well-meaning but futile intentions just sapient enough to be dimly aware of everything im unable to be.
this pill is incredibly difficult to obtain a steady monthly supply of because when normal people take it they have a little more fun at parties.
Counterpoint: At least if I spend the remainder of my natural life as a dirty, inept husk, a sad sack of well-meaning but futile intentions just sapient enough to be dimly aware of everything I’m unable to be… at least I’ll know I’m me, not a fake version of myself created by medication. Nor do I have to worry about regressing if I run out, the repeat prescription doesn’t come in time etc.
Not dissing OP’s choice to take advantage of the meds, but they’re not for me.
Hey, so, this is kind of the attitude that made me afraid to take meds that I really benefit from: the idea that who you are on medication is somehow “not really you.”
The person I was when I was very depressed did not feel like the real me. That was a version of me that was very ill. The “real me” is the me that is able to dance at stoplights and make art and enjoy food and laugh at jokes. And for now, I need pharmaceutical help to get back there.
The assistance that medication provides doesn’t make me any less The Real Me than wearing glasses or taking painkillers. Depression is a physical illness. If you try medication and you don’t like the way it makes you feel, then it’s not a good medication for you. But you do get to choose, and I’m glad I have the opportunity to choose to actually be myself again.
I also want to say something about “authenticity,” I.e. as someone said upthread, “at least I know I’m me” with their baked-in idea that “there is a real self and unreal self” and that the “real” self is superior.
But I suspect that people who are struggling with that sort of thing are also struggling with things like depression, and a key thing about those struggles is that they destroy your good judgment. So this isn’t a go at anyone personally, and is behind a cut.
amhrancas 