I wouldn’t even use 45; use 34 – the number of felonies.
#6 tho
When I hear someone saying all is lost, for us, for for them, all I hear is someone giving up on every single person in a worse position than them.
It HURTS.
Both in a wider sense, and personally, because I am almost always more vulnerable than these people, and when I am not, I do always have loved ones who are.
I have never advocated for this before, not EVER, but:
Be very careful and extremely selective where and how and with whom you process your strongest difficult feelings. Do find an outlet, you need that, but be selective, and open to the possibility that it may look different than what you are currently doing.
I am not saying this because you should be silent, or to drive you away. I’m saying it because we are heading into a difficult (not impossible) situation that’s very different anything most people from the USA have experienced before, and very different rules about how we talk about things and treat each other are going to apply.
It sucks and I’m sorry, I’m so sorry, I’m struggling with this SO MUCH. But right now you need to try, and to stand beside others, and that means not fueling their hopelessness…or causing them to push you further away because you are hurting them.
If you can’t find anything to say besides something negative or hopeless, try “we are all in this together”. Because it’s true. And you must remember that.
We all must remember that.
you’re right and you should say it. the social rule in a tragedy needs to be:
support inwards, vent outwards. the able bodied should not be looking to the disabled for validation and comfort to process their emotions about the upcoming dangers, they should look to those more stable and resilient for help. the cis should not be demanding consolation from the trans. those in stronger positions have a duty to offer support to more vulnerable and endangered friends, not to add to their burdens.
it’s tempting to seek validation for your fears from people who are even more endangered by the threat than you are because people less endangered could dismiss you. but people actively struggling with a problem that hasn’t reached you yet need your help, not to be managing both The Problem AND Your Feelings.
amhrancas 