i’m gonna talk about this not for sympathy or to trauma dump on main but because i want society to get more comfortable with conversations about sexual violence. we can’t fix a problem we won’t talk about.
my rapist was my boyfriend. he was popular, talented, smart, and generally well liked. he was a gentleman and treated me so well. at school we were something of an “it” couple (listen, i went to art school, there weren’t a lot of people to begin with). he was the last person you would suspect to be a rapist.
and then he was. he didn’t threaten me or drug me, he just didn’t hear the word “no”. that’s all it takes. perfectly nice guys don’t hear the word “no”. you cannot tell someone is or will be a rapist by looking at them or talking to them or being their friend or dating them. the only way to know if someone is a rapist is to know if they’ve raped someone.
you didn’t “know the whole time”. you didn’t “get a weird vibe”. there were no signs, no clues, no foreshadowing. you didn’t know and neither did I. you are not wiser than the victims.
anyone can be a rapist, so stop acting like you can pick them out of a crowd.
amhrancas 