I think it would be really fucking funny to write a piece of fiction set entirely in real life but using lazy fantasy worldbuilding talk. I gather coin* for the road west** – I will need it to enter the Capital.***
* two quarters and two dimes
** Interstate 64
*** Richmond, Virginia
I must traverse the treacherous way north* to visit my lover at their place of learning. This city is a crossroads, positioned near the boundary point of a dark land we try not to visit.** It is an ancient place, riddled with the memory of the War.***
* Interstate 95
** Northern Virginia
*** American Civil
The road north is blocked by enemy forces.* I fear we will be overpowered if we continue,** and never reach our destination.*** Let us abandon the road and take the ancient mountain pass.**** We will mind the cruel structures of bygone years***** as you go.
* northern virginians
** get vehicular manslaughtered by a tesla driver just outside the mixing bowl
*** west maryland
**** cut through loudon county
***** mcmansions
It is not safe to traverse the Crimson Path* , for it is a Day of the Sport of Young Beasts** and the foreign hordes*** will be marauding and carousing all through the midland territories****. But this pales before the maddened chaos of the Festival of Rainbows*****, where thousands upon thousands will gather in their traditional garb for gay reveling******.
*the Red Line trains
**Cubs game day
***drunk fuckers from the suburbs
****Wrigleyville
*****Boystown Pridefest
******LGBTQIA+ reveling
amhrancas 