roach-works:

derinthescarletpescatarian:

whetstonefires:

rythyme:

contes-de-rheio:

rythyme:

sometimes people writing about fantasy gay sex are right, actually. just found out that sword oil CAN be used as lube. listening and learning.

As someone who write fantasy, including the gay one, I’d very much love to know how you found that out.

Well… I’m the kind of person who will start reading a fic on AO3, say “that can’t be right,” and go down an hour-long Wikipedia hole about historical lubes.

Most natural plant-based oils may be used as lube, though they’re messier and not as good as modern water-based or silicone-based lube. Just remember that oils aren’t good with latex — but your knights probably aren’t using latex condoms, anyway.

Historically, a common sword oil was linseed oil, which is natural, plant-based, and food-safe. So, again, a fine choice.

Other historical options include other plant- or vegetable-based oils, which are probably fine. Some also used animal oils though, which is not fine and can lead to infections. Avoid that shit 🙅

For traditional Japanese swords, choji oil was used, which is made from cloves. High concentrations of clove oil can be toxic, so you HAVE to dilute that shit — 1% concentration or less. Once diluted though, clove oil is considered safe and can be used to treat and soothe anal injuries. It also has a numbing effect that could help with rough anal sex, but your ass would hurt like a bitch after the effect wears off.

ALT

A lot of modern sword oil is just mineral oil, which, while not plant-based, is food-safe and is actually recommended for use in enemas because it’s safe and long-lasting. So while it’s not great for vaginal use because it can irritate the skin there, it can be pretty well-suited for anal use.

There are a few modern sword oils made from machine oil and motor oil. Those should not go in any orifice whatsoever 🙅 Always check the label before using improvised lube.

Anyway, I hope that helps! I hope your knights enjoy their fantasy love-making ❤️

i actually did the opposite thing and when i saw people doing Historical Lube Discourse arguing against the use of various utility oils for this purpose in historical fiction i was like. well why not???

if petroleum jelly and crisco are both notable modern improvised lubes from before the lube industry took off, and crisco was celebrated for being plant-based unlike vaseline and therefore healthier to shove up your ass, why would rapeseed or olive oils be A Huge Problem????

answer is, probably wouldn’t. op has done a solid job laying out most reasons using A Random Oil is strongly advised against in a context where you can buy sex lube; disturbing the vaginal flora and more difficult laundry are up there, and Condom Issues top the list. and yeah modern ‘random oils’ are often petroleum products, which you want to be very careful about which ones you apply to your body and how.

list mostly does not include ‘these don’t work’ or ‘these are somehow hazardous in themselves.’

there is an element of lube industry propaganda circulating, i think, and a lot of people receiving and passing on advice about what is the ideal set of choices for them to make personally without any real interrogation of why, and then pouncing on deviations from this received norm even outside their own context. not that there aren’t also some truly alarming improvised lube ideas out there lmao.

do want to advise that linseed oil is probably low on the list of plant-based utility oils to use for this purpose, even though it’s not likely to harm you directly, for a weird reason!

it’s notable for its volatility, in the sense of it has a lot of components that like to evaporate and that oxidize really dramatically. this makes it valuable for uses like paint and varnish, but also means that if you get careless with it, it can uh. spontaneously combust.

so if you make a mess of fabric with some linseed oil and then get distracted and it oxidizes and heats up and your discarded pants burst into flame, that’s a lube problem you do not want to be having.

as a writer i desperately want an excuse to have someone’s balled-up lube stained pants spontaneously combust under the bed, driving the plot forward, but like.

Fantasy world origin for the phrase “liar, liar, pants on fire”. They hastily hid the pants and lied about having sex and the fire exposed them.

i don’t have anything smart to add other than that i really want people to know: when you see the message “For External Use Only” on toothpaste or shampoo or shaving cream or anything. that’s the manufacturers begging you not to put it up your ass. for this exact reason i love reading this plaintive warning and pondering how that memo was worded in the eczema lotion design department.