My mother had a dog of a fairly unusual breed, the kind breed whose existence I hadn’t even heard of before the breeder became a family friend. This specific dog was a zero brain cell masterpiece specimen, so while he was fucking stupid, he had an impressive enough pedigree that it would have been a waste to not take him into dog shows, maybe win a few prizes and have him sire pups.
Anyway, this one time we were at a smaller dog show, not really an amateur one but definitely not a huge international event. It was held outdoors on a football field(?), and not only was my mom’s dog the only one of his breed in the show, they had somehow completely forgot to include him in the show’s schedule. We had come all the way over here to show off a dog that didn’t have a time, judges, or ring for him anywhere in the plans.
So while my mother isn’t the type to Demand To Speak To The Manager when something doesn’t go her way, everyone was in the agreement that the fuck-up was on the show runners’ side, and they were very apologetic about such an unprofessional mistake. And they did manage to find a show ring with a slot to squeeze him in, just before the next breed was about to start.
So they made a quick announcement in the ring just before the scheduled breed was going to start, and into the ring went the breeder and mom’s dog. And while they were doing their little lap, surrounded by a mostly quiet, uninterested audience, I heard some random kid’s faint voice asking
What happened to that one?
And it suddenly hit me how funny this whole situation must look like with no context. Mom’s dog or his whole breed were not on the printed out leaflet schedule of the show, in this specific ring or otherwise. If someone showed up now, or somehow otherwise missed the announcement (which wasn’t even broadcasted in any way, just yelled out over the crowd by one guy), holy shit they would be confused.
The dog breed that was booked on that spot was samoyeds. My mother’s dog was a peruvian inca orchid. Imagine being at a dog show in the right place at the right time, 100% expecting to see one of those fluffy clouds on the left, and out walks the motherfucker on the right.
amhrancas 