me, logging into ao3 5 minutes before bedtime: WAITER! bring me your finest enemies to lovers!
ao3 tag search function: excellent choice, sir! how would you like it cooked?
me: explicit. with a side of hurt/comfort
ao3: lovely! and may i suggest a drizzle of mutual pining?
me: of course, and can you add a spritz of angst? make it a 100k slowburn for good measure
ao3: coming right up, sir
me: thank you. oh, and waiter?
ao3: yes, sir?
me: make it gay
amhrancas 