So the really fabulous thing about this is that while there’s two basic theories about how the seals get an eel up their nose, there are also problems with both of them. The first is that the seal is shoving its head in holes in the rocks and the eel panics and goes for what looks like a hole—ie a seal nostril. And that would be a great theory, except that seals have what are described as “extremely muscular nostrils” because they gotta slam them closed when diving to keep water out.
Which, okay, fine, except that there’s often like two, three feet of eel INSIDE THE SEAL. The stuff hanging out is just the end of the tail. And eels are astonishingly powerful for their size, true, but so are seal nostrils. (Why am I typing these words? How did my life come to this?)
The other theory, of course, is that they barfed up an eel and it came out their nose instead, but we’re talking a fairly impressive feat that the eel lined up just right to come out the nostrils, and also those are BIG eels. It’d be kinda like a human puking a spear of asparagus out of their nose. (Why am I typing THESE words, too? Why?)
The remaining theory, which is actually the one ascribed to by the lead scientist on the endangered monk seal project, is that dumb teenage seals are snorting eels at each other for fun. And y’know…I just…sure. We live in a world where that wouldn’t even be the tenth strangest thing I’ve heard about mammals.
In conclusion, if any young monk seals are following me, Just Say No To Eel.
EXACTLY LIKE THAT probably
Ok but the real question is what happens to the eels? Are they alive up there squiggling around like, ‘wtf?’ Do the scientists remove them? Are eels beginning to avoid areas where teenage monk seals hang out?
I regret to say that the eels do not come out of this as well as the seals do. But it did lead to one of the most understated and marvelous sentences ever spoken by a wildlife rehabber, namely:
“Though no seals have died or been seriously affected by the eels, having a dead animal up their noses for any extended amount of time poses potentially adverse health impacts, said Simeone, director of Ke Kai Ola, a monk seal hospital in Hawaii run by the Marine Mammal Center.”
So I guess by now the seals know if they snort an eel, they get to go to an all expenses paid vacation in the seal hospital, and just hang out and get fed and meet other cute young seals?
amhrancas 